I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
