The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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