I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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