So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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