Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
