If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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