drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
this boner is exhausting
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
