So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
