i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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