it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize