FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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