ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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