ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
