i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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