If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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