Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
whose parrot is this?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
