I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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