well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize