...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i came on her dog
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
