After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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