i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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