just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
