so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
