Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
