I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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