I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
