What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
50% drunk capacity currently
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
