your parents love me but you hate me
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
