I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
