you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
