you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
