I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
