problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
