I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
