i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
