so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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