How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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