So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
