If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
