i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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