Yo dont text me then not text me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
