You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
