how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
