the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i think i have two assholes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
