check it out our google latitudes are spooning
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
