i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
