I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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