don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
