I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
