Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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