I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
