So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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