I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
