apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
