You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
