Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
