i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
