im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
