Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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