I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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