Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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