You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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