Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
